Anyone else have depression and anxiety?

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DankEmo25
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Anyone else have depression and anxiety?

Post by DankEmo25 » Thu Dec 29, 2016 9:14 pm

If you have a story, please post it! I will post my own and I hope that this will be a supportive topic for people.
No matter how it may seem, there will always be at least one person in life that will understand and love you for who you are. So hang in there.

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justiceluv18
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Re: Anyone else have depression and anxiety?

Post by justiceluv18 » Thu Dec 29, 2016 9:35 pm

Hi DankEmo25 :)
First,I just want to point out how sweet this is of you to consider the feelings/circumstances others suffer from, in terms of depression and anxiety. Unfortunately, these conditions are very common amongst people, especially nowadays it seems... and especially in younger individuals as well.
I was diagnosed with depression at a young age, mainly because I dealt with being bullied throughout my schooling years, especially high school. My depression has tempted me into committing 2 suicide attempts. My last attempt was actually only a few months ago. I am very stubborn when it comes to taking the medication I was prescribed in talking, since I feel I can heal myself on my own without any "man-made" alternatives. I will say that every day is a struggle, but I still continue on... Hoping that one day I will learn to love myself and my life, as well as feeling grateful for my life.
If you are also suffering from anxiety and depression, DankEmo25, I urge you to also keep on continuing in life, and learn to love yourself and life. Count your blessings, because no matter how difficult life may be for you, you are still beautifully blessed.

Take care :) <3
[*]An Indigo Child lost in darkness, looking for the light I'm destined to exist in... ✨Peace&Love✌[*][/size]

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DankEmo25
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Re: Anyone else have depression and anxiety?

Post by DankEmo25 » Thu Dec 29, 2016 9:40 pm

Hi. I'm a 13 year old girl. I was a pretty happy child/ teen until a couple summers ago. I went to a new summer camp and got picked on by someone. They would constantly tell me that I was ugly and that no one liked or loved me. They told me that I had no friends and that I didn't deserve any. This went on for the entire summer. If I ignored them or walked away from them, they would stalk me and bother me more. After that, I slowly began to isolate myself from family and friends. I used to be a tough kid. Like, I wouldn't care what others thought or said about me. I'm still being picked on now. But ever since that summer, I became extremely self conscious. I noticed that I got bullied by more people. When I returned to school from summer vacation, I realized that my personality had changed drastically and that I lost a LOT of my friends. I still have about maybe 3, so I'm grateful. I now hate being around people. It makes me nervous and on edge. I always feel like everyone hates me. I stopped being interested in most of the things I used to like. So life lost a lot of its meaning to me. I have barely any friends, I dont like to do anything (except go on the internet, mostly YouTube) and I have no one to talk to. I hate everything about myself. I found myself sobbing myself to sleep every single night and often thought about committing suicide ( past tense is used because since I've been on Christmas break, I've had time to be alone, so I'm not freaking out about being around people). I would really like some advice. I don't think therapy would be an option because if I asked my parents to book me a session, my dad would get mad and tell me that I was just asking him to do that for attention (my parents don't know how I really feel). I have heard that vegetarianism works, but every time I try not to eat meat, my parents force me to. I don't know. Maybe I'm just being a dumb teenager. I just need/needed someone to talk to I guess.
No matter how it may seem, there will always be at least one person in life that will understand and love you for who you are. So hang in there.

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justiceluv18
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Re: Anyone else have depression and anxiety?

Post by justiceluv18 » Thu Dec 29, 2016 10:05 pm

OMG!! You're only 13 years old... This is crazy... And I'm sorry for being so bold, but to hear all of this from a thirteen year old, it really bothers me. First off, sweetie I just want to say that there seriously is nothing wrong with you. To know that those evil a**holes literally stalked and harassed you for their own effed up entertainment. You didn't deserve that sweetie, no one ever does. I'm sure you're an absolutely beautiful girl, and anyone who had made you feel otherwise is the complete opposite of beauty; inside and out. Don't hesitate to talk to someone, someone you trust, especially when you're having dark thoughts. Your life is worth too much... Don't let those a**holes convince you into thinking otherwise. You are already a very strong young lady, by having enough confidence to seek help and open up about your unfortunate circumstances.
[*]An Indigo Child lost in darkness, looking for the light I'm destined to exist in... ✨Peace&Love✌[*][/size]

bells1500
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Re: Anyone else have depression and anxiety?

Post by bells1500 » Thu Dec 29, 2016 10:26 pm

DankEmo25 and anyone else who needs it, I'm always happy to talk. Feel free to PM me!

Also, DankEmo25 I get what you're saying about people. I'm the same way. I can only handle a couple people at most and usually that's too much. I get what I call people claustrophobia which is where I can kinda sense all these people around me and it throws me into a full blown panic attack bc I feel suffocated by all the people. It's awful you can learn ways to manage it. Also when it comes to friends, I just keep them separate in my head. I always joke that my friends aren't people, they're my friends and that sounds silly but I literally have like two boxes in my head and one has friends and the other has people. Sounds weird but it helps me at least. And I've been where you're at. Everyone is like "omg 13 is so young!" And it is. It's awful to be so young and already so hurt and beaten down. Take it from me, find some way to get help. Whether it's a therapist or just a friend or just someone to vent to (please talk to me if you need). Don't go the same road I did. It's awful. I'm (almost) 17 and I'm still not better. I was 11 when I first became depressed. Don't be like me. Find a way to get the help you need. Please. Oh, and you should check out a website called The Comfort Spot. It's a great place for venting and comfort. I use it when I need and I offer a lot of comfort on there. Good luck hun and please message me if you need anything at all

Onto my story:
I'm agender and I'm turning 17 in a few days. I've had depression for about 6 years now. I was diagnosed 2 years ago but I knew for a long time before then. When I was diagnosed, I was seeing a shitty therapist that I told just enough to get myself diagnosed. And then I acted better each meeting and within 3 meetings, she told my mom I was getting better (in fact, 8 was actually getting much worse). (My mom never believed I was depressed in the first place bc "no one acts that well" and "you still get out of bed in the morning" (that's actually become a very real issue for me) and my mom just got pissed, instead of actually caring) The depression started in 6th grade. I'd just moved to a new place and I had two best friends and then our friendship fell apart and one of them was awful to me. And I didn't have friends outside of them so I was pretty lonely. I had a rather large chest for a sixth grader and I got called a slut for the first time that year. I also got called a bitch and told to go **** myself and all manner of stuff like that. I noticed myself getting really sad and numb and I'd cry a lot and I didn't get it. I slowly started to realize what it was but I didn't want to admit it. November 9th 2012 I finally admitted to myself I was depressed. Idk why I remember the date but it's always stuck in my head. I was depressed long before then but I just couldn't admit it. I was a few months into 7th grade by then and I was still pretty lonely. I once again had two best friends, but they were always closer to each other than me. I was just an awkward 3rd wheel. When I admitted I was depressed, I told myself it was okay as long I didn't self harm. With two weeks I was scratching myself all the time with any sort of sharp object I could find or my fingernails. And then I said, well self harming is fine so long as I'm not suicidal. And within the month, I was suicidal. The fact that I'm still here always sort of blows my mind. I'm actually worse than I've ever been but somehow I'm still here. I'm tired honestly. I'm not sure I want to be here. But I am. Life is still shitty. I moved again and I now live in the South and I'm forced to attend a private Christian school (I'm agnostic) that is just slightly better than westboro baptist. My mom says there's only gay and straight and male and female (and she's oddly fine with ftm and mtf so long as it's not someone she knows personally). I'm agender and demisexual so apparently I don't exist. My dad is very anti-gay, anti-trans, etc. so, not the easiest family. Actually, my psychologist (I made myself sick with stress over school and was forced into seeing a psychologist by my doctor. I haven't said anything to him about being depressed bc I'm a wimp tbh) told me that if he had to imagine the worst situation (short of physical abuse) to put an LGBT kid into, it'd be mine. (And he doesn't even know I'm agender). Life in the Bible Belt as anything other than a cisgender heterosexual is hard. And being in the closet and getting called the wrong pronouns and the wrong names just hurts (my given name is Chloe and that's very feminine. I go by Austin now but I've only told three people and I only have a few more I can tell without fear of something negative occurring so I still hear Chloe a lot and it's awful). I'm trying to make it till college so I can finally escape but it's hard and I'm halfway through Junior year (also known as hell) and that's still almost 2 years away. My depression gets worse every day it seems like. And I need a scholarship for college if I wanna go out of state, which I desperately need to, but my grades are slipping because my depression just drains all my motivation. I've fucked up most of my friendships by pushing people away bc I think they're better off without me. I thought I had a chance at getting better last summer, the future looked bright. But that all went out the window. I usually act my part well. The cis, straight, Christian daughter my parents want but that façade is slipping. And they hate who they see underneath. Nothing really helps anymore. Onision and his videos make me smile at least. I think my psychologist could help but I can't bring myself to tell him.
It's hard to keep fighting but I'm trying my best.

IdkBro
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Re: Anyone else have depression and anxiety?

Post by IdkBro » Fri Dec 30, 2016 2:11 am

I'm 16 and I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder back in late July 2016 (I was 15) and I can barely get to school because my whole body shakes almost like a seizure but I'm awake and the attacks don't always go like that, sometimes just in my arms or just in my legs. School isn't really supportive over me and it sucks. I think my anxiety is caused by school and stress and feelings of failure because I'm like an A grade student so school wants me to get A* but I struggle to get Bs so it's really stressful. And I just feel afraid I'm going to fail and school will hate me. I also have other anxieties of nobody liking me and when I leave for college that I won't have any friends and people will hate me.

As for depression I haven't being diagnosed with anything, but since August 2015 up until a few months ago I did self harm and feel sometimes suicidal, but idk. Never being diagnosed so not going to say I have it. My mum said I was depressed and she has depression herself but I'm not a doctor so idk.

But that's about it. People have it worse than me, way worse. And at least my family are supportive and I kinda feel like I'm getting better, like I feel hopeful and happier atm, aside from the anxiety. But I mean, I still don't have any interests, because everything I loved (games, learning music, reading) I just find them like a chore or not interesting, which sucks because I have no way to amuse myself.

(Ps I'm awaiting therapy, which should start in the new year - CBT Therapy)
How you look doesn't change who you are, who you are changes how you look.

PartyPoxson
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Re: Anyone else have depression and anxiety?

Post by PartyPoxson » Fri Dec 30, 2016 10:57 am

I know this may sound stupid, but after I had a crush in ninth grade (I'm in 10th now) I started experiencing lack of emotions and lots of self-loathing because of all the stupid things I did. Although I had a crush on him I never wanted to date him, just be his friend, but being socially awkward I ended up getting nervous and being stupid. Anyways I do not know why after I stopped liking him I had lack of emotions, but I do so idk.

I've been depressed several times before and now I just feel empty. Due to my lack of emotions I feel neither happy, or unhappy, I just feel empty. I may be having s great time sometimes, but I still don't feel happy or unhappy. I feel like I may have BPD and told my parents about it, which I was scared at first of what their reaction would be (like get mad at me or think that I'm crazy), but they were actually really understanding and supportive. I told them I wanted to talk to my third grade psychologist (I had a psychologist in third grade BC I have ADD) so we contacted her and she keeps telling me it's probably because I'm a teenager. I am no psychologist, so I wouldn't really know, but really? Randomly not wanting to talk to certain people you talked to often and ACTUALLY stopped talking to them is part of being a teenager? It irritates me how she insists on that, but "she doesn't want me to worry about having a personality disorder" which just makes me frustrated.

Although I don't want to become I psychologist (too much school and too long ugh), I find all types of mental disorders and illnesses (schizophrenia in particular) so I knew about BPD. One of my online friends talked to me once and somehow she started asking me questions about my feelings and told me I might have BPD because she has it too and I had feelings/symptoms similar to hers.

I have had suicidal thoughts but I've never actually wanted to kill myself. Call me whatever you want to call me because of this, but I believe that life is a sacred gift from God and taking away your life is like throwing away that precious gift. I know depression can really mess up a person's thoughts, so I don't "judge" I guess, people that commit suicide, but I just wouldn't do it because of my beliefs and because the only people I love right now are my parents.

I know part of my depression was inherited from my mother because recently she has told she's had the same thoughts I have. Right now I am feeling much better now that I told them how I felt. It felt like a big burden was lifted up from my shoulders and I feel a lot better now, but just like before, depression always comes back.

To all those that suffer from depression, hang in there, it will get better <3!! And to those of you like me, that believe in God, pray to him for strength and to feel better. He may not always answer our prayers immediately, but he really listens! To those of you faithful people, do not be downcast end if your prayers aren't answered immediately, be patient! Jehovah knows when is the exact time to answer our prayers! Don't give up on prayer and keep faithful!

I hope everyone reading this is encouraged and I hope everyone reading this will get better. There is a better, more beautiful hope of life ahead of us and it is going to come soon! Don't give up, keep your faith! <3

Hereforall
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Re: Anyone else have depression and anxiety?

Post by Hereforall » Sun Jan 01, 2017 8:32 pm

Yes I do. I've never been diagnosed with anxiety because it not constant or that bad I need Meds for it. I've never been diagnosed with depression. They both are one of those things you know you have because it is in your daily life. I don't think I could tell you my story because I would relapse. I can't say what is wrong with me but if you want to PM me go ahead and maybe I could help you.
Last edited by Hereforall on Tue Jan 10, 2017 6:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Hope it helped :D

Hereforall
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Re: Anyone else have depression and anxiety?

Post by Hereforall » Sun Jan 01, 2017 9:20 pm

In short I've starved myself for a week, choked myself into almost passing out, and cut my body. I have serious depression, anxiety, PPD ( Paranoid personality disorder), social anxiety, body dysmorphia,and paranoia.
Last edited by Hereforall on Sun Jan 01, 2017 9:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hope it helped :D

Hereforall
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Re: Anyone else have depression and anxiety?

Post by Hereforall » Sun Jan 01, 2017 9:21 pm

:cry:
Last edited by Hereforall on Tue Jan 10, 2017 6:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hope it helped :D

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Re: Anyone else have depression and anxiety?

Post by the_second_16S » Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:17 pm

I don't want to write you guys a book, so I'll keep it to the point.

I've had depression there times (when I was in 4-5th grade, 6th grade and 8th) because of severe bullying and verbal harassment. The reason why there's gaps between when I had it since because my psychiatrist thinks I'm fine for a while and then I fall back in. I've been suicidal multiple times (expecially the past few years) even though I'm undiagnosed at the moment. I used to be bullied at school, but after it stopped at school I was being bullied at home by my mother after my parents went through a long overdue divorce. She still verbally harasses me and occasionally chokes me and shoves me. I've wanted to go to the police multiple times, but she's a police officer (who are they going to believe?). She's cheated on my dad and done multiple other fucked up things, but I've started brushing everything off. I don't really care about anyone or anything anymore.

There's a lot more messed up factors to this story, but I was keeping it short. BTW I'm 16 and in 11th grade now.

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ThatOneGay
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Re: Anyone else have depression and anxiety?

Post by ThatOneGay » Tue Jan 03, 2017 4:41 pm

Yeeees I do.

I'm only gonna be a teen in one month :/

Lets start from when I was a lot younger. Six, I was bullied verbally by people around me. I was a chubby little child that well, had probably what people call `Baby Fat`. Fat jokes daily, along with insults. " The Blood In My Veins Is Made Up Of Mistakes. " Not only did I already notice I seemed to `Adore` females more than males, this making me feel like a freak. Since when I was younger I was taught to like men and only men, my father is extremely religious and had the god damn nerve to say a man died because he was gay so therefore he had aids.

I haven't been actually disagnosed with anxiety, but I know I have it since I do tend to have Anxiety/Panic attacks. Depression, have that too. I have it to the point I'm on medication, the first medication made me lose a large amount of my memory, I'm still trying to recover it but now I'm back on them, but the herbal version so I won't have horrible memory loss.

I can't exactly remember the cause of the first time I ever got depressed.. kind of a blurry memory. I think it was due to my father and the names he called me? A disgrace being one of them, it may not be accurate, I truly can't even remember. But this was in 2015. I also started self harming in that year, my adopted cousin self harmed so I got the idea from her doing it, yet I got upset whenever she had done it to herself.. She never knew until about.. the start of 2016? When I accidentally didn't pay attention to the fresh marks on my arm. Also no, I didn't use a knife. I started off with staples, just pressing then dragging them along my arm.. Then scissors when staples became.. I don't know how to describe it, boring? Scissors could draw blood if I pressed hard enough, so I preffered them, but sometimes my break downs were horrible enough for me to use a combination of the two.

My parents, sister and her husband found out three months after I started, my sister literally ripping my ipad from my hands and scavaging through my personal conversations with my one of my guy friends.. I was complaining to him about her, since she was talking about my depression to my mother, mocking me. She then went to my whole family, everyone reading my conversations with him. I sweared when I was around him, I mostly did it because I knew if I did it with him it would take it out of my system so that I wouldn't do it in real life. But they took it differently, later on everyone was infurriated with me but my brother. My family called me a slut and whore for three days. My mother, when seeing my self harm pictures that my guy friend forced me to show, unless he would leave me completely.. She called me fucking crazy and threatened to slap me when I was tired and she thought I was trying to fire her up. I remember this as a horrible nightmare.

Everything got worse from then, my depression now started to bring in suicidal thoughts. I went a step further with my self harm, started using the staples on the wrist. To my suicidal brain that sensation was amazing, but I'd never actually cut into it. I used to lock myself away at break and lunch time in school, sometimes running off to the bathroom during class and keeping myself locked in there. I began to starve myself at that point, till you could see my ribs quite clearly. I'd eat at home, then throw up. Eat at school, then throw up. My friends grew worried but then that worry grew into anger. At some point I completely broke down in front of my therapist ( I don't like crying in front of people so this is a big thing to me ) So she ended up sending me to the hospital on the same day, the docter then saying she'd send me to some sort of like.. rehab? With other kids that have mental illnesses. But I ended up not going, but my mother was furious with me before it was decided that I would take medication at home instead.

Then I got off my pills after feeling better, but several months later till now I went back on them after developing slight BDD ( Body Dismorphia Disorder ) when I feel like I'm a man. I already in general find myself quite disgusting, the only thing I don't whine about is everything from the neck down, everything from the neck up is just.. ugh. Death isn't a fear anymore, sometimes I view it as an escape from everything, but then I realise the reactions of the people around me if I commited suicide. So yup, that's part of my life story.
Oh Darling,

You can't fix yourself by breaking someone else

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justiceluv18
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Re: Anyone else have depression and anxiety?

Post by justiceluv18 » Tue Jan 03, 2017 9:14 pm

I'm getting even more depressed by reading all of y'all's posts...
I'm sorry to hear that you all had to experience such horrific circumstances. I'll keep all of you in my prayers.
Please know that you all are beautiful and amazing individuals who are only hated by hideous beings... Please know that, and understand that is why they try to put you through hell... Simply because they could never be as beautiful and special as you.
[*]An Indigo Child lost in darkness, looking for the light I'm destined to exist in... ✨Peace&Love✌[*][/size]

bubblysmile
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Re: Anyone else have depression and anxiety?

Post by bubblysmile » Tue Jan 03, 2017 9:29 pm

I've been depressed for about 4 years now, I'm 17 and I've been bullied most of my life. My first 3 years of high school there were about 4 different groups of people who would pick on me. Last year was not as bad, they used to make vomit noises at me, a teacher thought it was because they thought I was bulimic but I think because I'm ugly. I don't believe that caused me to become depressed but it didn't really help. I also started self harming around the same time, I am clean now for almost 7 weeks but its hard. I have always been a nervous person, my psychologist said I have bad social anxiety. It makes it hard for me to do simple things, I can't even stand up in class to grab a paintbrush :/ but I'm working on it. I've struggled with food and weight for around 4 years too but it wasn't as bad for the first year or so. I'm opening up to my therapist about my food problems and things too. I'm terrified of people leaving, I've had bad experiences with it. First with a teacher who I trusted a lot when she had to go away for a while, then again with a therapist who got offered a full time job somewhere else and again now with my current therapist who is leaving at the end of this month. I don't know if I'll need another therapist, I also don't know if I want one because I'm worried they'll leave.

Hope everyone is doing okay, pm me if you need to talk and stay safe <3
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Alexcarr
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Re: Anyone else have depression and anxiety?

Post by Alexcarr » Tue Jan 03, 2017 9:39 pm

I'm 14. I have high anxiety and bad depression. Onision helped me to stop cutting.
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